Many people pick a point in life to commit to making positive changes about themselves - about the way that they look or the quality of their life. For some people being invited to a special occasion or reaching a landmark birthday, or even the end of a relationship or starting a new job can be a motivator for ‘out with the old and in with the new’. It has been reported in the press that four out of five people used New Year 2010 as the decision point to commit to having a more positive attitude about their lives and their expectations for themselves. Many people feel that it is important to make these promises to themselves. The key is in finding ways to make the promises a reality.
Many books have been written about the power of positive thought and how goals are more likely to be reached by believing in them being within our reach. Writing down goals gives them an 80 % greater chance of being achieved. It makes them more tangible, more real. Once written down, it is important to refer back to them regularly, daily, and say them out loud. Seeing and hearing the words gives them greater impact. Some people write their goals in the front of their diary, or have them as a screen saver on their computer, some people have little post-its in their car or in their bedroom to remind and motivate themselves to stay on track. Use whatever works for you.
I think that it is important to have positive resolutions, not just negative, doing without ones. Many people commit to giving up sugar or alcohol, or not going to the casino. That is all well and good, but rewards and treats are important too. They provide something to look forward to, to strive for and appreciate when we reach a particular point of success, a reward for all the effort.
Positive habits and treats should be great fun. They make us feel better and can be a real tonic if we are feeling a little down. So, let us think of some that give a real sense of pleasure and satisfaction. By having these things in our lives we will not need to slip back into old negative ways because we have brought alternative, much better habits on board instead.
- Fresh flowers are a lovely addition into any room. Put some in the bedroom so that you notice the perfume and the colour when you wake up and are getting dressed in the morning and then again at night.
- Play relaxing music in the evenings. It helps de-stress and calm after a busy day
- Sing in the car – loudly
- Arrange a coffee or a lunch with an old friend. Make time to keep in contact.
- Enjoy one bar of good quality chocolate, rather than several cheaper ones. Take time to sit and really appreciate it.
- Sit down and eat breakfast or lunch, rather than eat on the run. It makes a difference to the mood of the day and is worth getting up ten minutes earlier for.
- Girls, have friends round for facials and manicures. Everyone can bring some nibbles or a bottle.
- Guys, have friends round for cards or to watch a game on television.
- Lots of entertainment can be done for free. Many a pleasant afternoon can be spent in a good bookshop, or a museum or art gallery.
- Have a long leisurely bath, light candles, put clean sheets on the bed.
- Organise a get together with old friends. Enjoy looking at old photographs albums and reminiscing.
All of these are ideas that help us to feel better about ourselves, more worthwhile, more confident. These good feels can then translate into more positive behaviour, that makes those resolutions become reality.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist
www.lifestyletherapy.net