Susan Leigh is a South Manchester based Counsellor and Hypnotherapist, and a regular contributor to BBC Radio. She regularly works with professionals to help them cope better with stress and anxiety in their business and personal lives. Presentations, media exposure, speeches and interviews are now a large part of business life, and helping clients to maximise these opportunities is an important part of her skill set. For futher information please visit www.lifestyletherapy.net
What is it about interviews, presentations, best man’s speeches, that can turn highly rational, skilled professionals into a fearful state of stress and anxiety ? I have worked with many professionals to help them deal with this problem.
A typical example of a client is the sports professional who is used to playing in a team situation, but is now moving into doing pundit work in the media or at sportsman’s dinners. He is used to being part of a team situation, but becomes nervous and stressed when the spotlight is on him as an individual. Another example is the musician who plays beautifully in the orchestra, but who really struggles when asked to perform solo.
An interesting example was a very successful businessman who could not do presentations to his staff. He became panic stricken and immobile at the prospect of updating his staff on any matter. He realised how irrational and illogical his reaction was – he owned the company -and yet he could do nothing to overcome the stress and anxiety he felt at these times.
We decided to use a combination of Counselling and Hypnotherapy as a way of treating both the conscious and unconscious behaviour patterns. Through this work he realised that a huge part of his fear dated back to childhood and an unpleasant experience that he had had in a classroom situation. His teacher had asked him a question, he had given a wrong answer, the other children had laughed and he had felt foolish and humiliated. Thereafter, every time when he went back into that classroom the same fear and dread was being reinforced – is it going to happen to me again ?
That fear and dread can stay with a person throughout their life, being reinforced over and over again, whenever they anticipate a similar situation occuring. Our unconscious response is to try and avoid or evade the stress and anxiety of being humiliated again, and so we try to do everything possible to get out of the situation, even though consciously we may well be telling ourselves, it is fine, I can do this, I know my stuff, this is important, I need to do it.
Hypnotherapy heals the unconscious mind by allowing that old learning to be let go of and to now appreciate that the present, older person is knowledgeable, successful and capable, and knows what to do and how to handle stress and anxiety.
Techniques can also be taught to reinforce confidence and self belief : Self Hypnosis, to visualise how a person wants to be, how they can really see themselves in that presentation situation, calm, relaxed and focussed, enjoying the opportunity to do well ; Perhaps linking in with some affirmations to say to themselves at key moments – I can do this, I am good, I know my subject, and so on.
Also practical hints, like getting to the room early, familiarising oneself with the layout of the room, where people will be sitting, so that there are no surprises. Ensuring that any technical equipment is working, having a glass of water handy, knowing where to put any notes, all helps in feeling confident and relaxed. Then, once the presentation starts, finding three or four friendly faces in the audience, in different parts of the room, and talking to them in turn, helps in feeling more relaxed and in control of what is happening.
Remember, no one knows what the speaker should have said, so if it doesn’t quite go to plan, who’s to know ? And also, how often has a member of the audience felt sympathy or extra supportive towards a speaker who has been nervous but persevered on through those nerves ? They are the people who often get the biggest round of applause.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist
www.lifestyletherapy.net