In these days of high profile celebrity adulation and multi-media coverage of peoples’ lives we are constantly besieged by images of glamorous and idealised faces and bodies. Sometimes these images are rated in a positive and complimentary way, other times they receive vicious and negative criticism. This type of coverage is absorbed by us over a long period of time and we grow up knowing how we ‘should’ look if we want to be seen as attractive and successful.
Botox and facial fillers are now so much regarded as a normal part of the beauty regimen that botox parties are common place, where several ladies meet up and the beauty therapist calls and treats them all. In fact botox is often referred to as ‘mother’s little helper’.
With so much emphasis upon appearance, it is no surprise that people in vulnerable groups feel under increasing pressure to look good. Young people, boys as well as girls, often struggle with their opinion of their bodies, boys wanting to bulk up and be more muscular, girls often wanting bigger breasts.
Older people too are feeling under pressure to fight aging, and keep themselves young looking if they want to continue to be successful and viable. Whilst it is important to look after oneself, to make an effort to be smart and attractive, it is also important to find a balance in life too. People are now beginning to acknowledge that it is important for a face to have character, that we are all different, that everyone does not have the same look, that the differences are attractive and interesting.
Becoming fixated on appearance and feeling that that is the most important aspect of who we are, leads to an endless cycle of self criticism and despair. There will always be something that is perceived as being in need of changing and improving. This can become almost a form of body dysmorphic disorder, where an aspect of the body is felt to be wrong and that things in life will not be fine until that part is sorted out, or, in extreme cases, removed.
Many reputable cosmetic surgery clinics now counsel their clients prior to surgery. It is a big step to take and there is a growing sense of the importance of being aware and responsible about the mental state of their clients. No amount of surgery will change what is on the inside and if a person has low self esteem then it is important to address that issue first.
So let us look at things to consider before taking the cosmetic surgery route:
- Clarify the reasons for wanting surgery. Feeling imperfect, unattractive, I am not enough, are all issues that need to be dealt with through counselling first.
- Think back to when these negative feelings about your appearance started. Is there a root cause ? Are there times when things feel better or worse ? Are there ways to build on the good times and manage the bad times more effectively ?
- Remember, what is on the inside cannot be changed by surgery. You will still be the same person after the procedure.
- If there is an issue of low self esteem then it is important to attend to that first. I have counselled clients who were bullied at school for being too thin, too boyish or too tall and felt that a breast enhancement was the answer to all their insecurities. Sort out the old issues and then see how you feel.
- Other people are usually more preoccupied with themselves and how they look. They are usually not too concerned with the size of someone elses’ breasts or other body parts.
- Think of other ways to improve your body image first. Cosmetic surgery is a major invasive procedure. So try exercise, better diet, ways to manage stress, better sleeping habits, stop smoking and excessive drinking. Some people find that they feel much more positive after an image overhaul where they update hairstyle, clothes, makeup.
All these are ways that can help a person to feel more in control of their body, looks, habits, and so improve self esteem and self confidence. Then is a much better time to decide about having a cosmetic surgery procedure.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist
www.lifestyletherapy.net