Each stage in life has good and bad aspects to it. It is important to be able to appreciate what we have at the time and learn to grow through every phase with dignity and good grace.
Youth can get away with being hot-headed, making rash decisions and having questionable taste in fashion, and often older people enjoy seeing this behaviour. It reminds them of their own youth and it is fun to live through others, vicariously, from time to time. Whilst youth does have a lot of energy and enthusiasm, sometimes it is not directed too well and can be wasted effort at times.
I remember, years ago watching a lunchtime staff football match. Several of the young lads thought that it would be fun to ask an older man, in his mid-forties, to join them for the game. Watching from the first floor window you could see the young boys running up and down the pitch whilst the older man assessed where the ball was going next and quietly moved across to take possession. He played with less physical energy and a better mental strategy. He ran rings around the younger players.
Youth may have the energy and health, but there is often a great deal of pressure on young people to achieve. They need to establish themselves in their careers, finances, homes, relationships. The saying ‘youth is wasted on the young’ has a resonance to it as often their energy is invested in surviving and getting on in their lives.
As people get older things calm and settle down. A lot of the personal pressures may well have eased and there is also the sense of having been there, seen it, done it that adds a sense of balance to things that happen. Life experience brings with it a sophistication, a better sense of perspective and outlook. There develops the ability to establish a better sense of balance in life.
Some things need to be paid attention to as we get older to ensure a positive quality of life:
- nurture your important relationships, so that when the children leave home you still have an important viable relationship with your partner and have kept your friends.
- find a balance between working to maintain your own standards and not giving in, as opposed to still acting like a person in their teens or twenties.
- remember manners are a two-way exchange. Being polite and respectful to younger people is important, just as they should be polite in return.
- listen to your body. Be aware if you feel fatigued. Give time for healing and recuperation.
- update your image. Look at fashion magazines, take advice from consultants about your look, hair, make up, clothes. It is important for personal confidence levels to stay looking smart, sexy, attractive.
- do things that make you feel worthwhile. If financial pressures have eased then it may be time to enjoy hobbies or voluntary work. Some people enjoy being hands on grandparents. Start as you mean to go on and set out the ground rules so that you are able to feel in control of what you are commiting to and so leave enough time for the freedom and variety of doing other things.
- exercise is important for good health. Many local authorities have exercise classes for older people, from walking groups, to swimming and Pilates classes.
- make sure you are eating properly. Food is an important part of health care and maintenance, so plan interesting meals. Maybe reorganise your mealtimes to suit yourself better, many older people prefer to eat their main meal at midday and do not enjoy eating a larger meal at night. Plan to include a good variety of healthy fruit, vegetables and proteins as an investment in your health.
Susan Leigh,
Counsellor and Hypnotherapist
www.lifestyletherapy.net