Many of us spend huge amounts of time rushing around, sometimes achieving very little. When my clients first come to see me they regularly say that they never relax, there is always something that they feel they should be doing. Frequently that is true, but I wonder, if we managed our lives better could we have more time to be quiet, still and even bored.
Boredom results from an absence of stimulation. A time when there is nothing to do. Some people fear that state. They fear that if they are not continually busy then there must be something wrong, they are failing or missing out in some way. Other people say that only boring people are bored and that is an interesting viewpoint to have.
Being constantly busy results in people being hyper-stimulated and stressed for much of the time. When that state of being busy becomes quieter the stressful state does not automatically become calm. At first a person may wonder where the next deluge of work is coming from, or they may worry that it is not going to happen. They may actually enjoy and thrive on being busy. Some people completely define themselves through work and their job. Readjusting to a quieter state of calm can be tough.
In our safety conscious world people often find that there are less and less risks in their daily lives. Businesses are regularly safety checked to ensure that employees and customers are in no danger of harm through accidents or carelessness. There are speed limits, health warnings, procedures in place to protect us everywhere we go. Some people find that level of safety an imposition, a boring intrusion in their lives, so they may seek excitement or danger elsewhere.
Hence the growth of extreme sports.Some people crave the adrenalin rush that comes through being in an ultra-exciting, potentially dangerous situation. Their wits and senses are elevated and the exhilaration of feeling that way can become quite addictive. Living in that state of heightened awareness can feel really alive, looking for more and more thrills. But can the thrills be constantly increased ? It takes increasing risk, challenge and danger to achieve the desired levels of adrenalin and it can become an addictive state to live in.
Different kinds of stimulus are around us constantly, but at a less extreme level. Young people are continually texting or chatting on their phones, on their computers or are listening to music on their ipods. There is rarely silence, still time, doing nothing time. Business people are constantly in touch with work, emailing and phoning, always contactable.
Being quiet is important to allow our minds and our bodies to become still and de-stress. For this to happen fully it is important to allow the quiet to become comfortable and become a regular part of our existence. Boredom can follow when the quiet goes on for longer, or becomes a more frequent occurrence in life. Learning to allow our minds to be still and enjoy what is happening around us, nature, life, traffic is an important goal at these times. We can watch the world go by and allow our imaginations some play time. Gradually the quiet time can be extended and become a comfortable, time-out part of our day.
Recuperation after illness can become boring for people but it is a vital part of the healing process. A long recuperation can lead to a person becoming depressed if they are not stimulated effectively from time to time. Hope and optimism need to be built into the therapy to enable the patient to feel confident about their future. Scheduling in some activity that they are able to do and do well is as valid as quiet time.
Redundancy or retirement can be boring for some people, and in truth, healthy vital people may need to consider their options at some point. Quiet time and boredom allows a person to discover what they want to do next. It allows them to reach effective decisions about their lives. Taking time to find outlets for skills, energy and imagination need to be investigated, to prevent stagnation and maybe depression from occurring.
Boredom is important at times to allow ourselves to calm and quieten after a stressful time. It allows us to ground ourselves and take a reality check. We once again become able to appreciate the little things. If someone tries to sample ten or twenty perfumes in one go, after the first few they would become de-sensitised. The same with us and life experiences. When we have busy stressful lives we need to balance our feelings and emotions from time to time. Then we can form better decisions about what we want in our lives.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist
www.lifestyletherapy.net