In life we all have to share space, from roads to transport systems, to accomodation, to work and social environments. Learning to respect, tolerate and cope with each others mannerisms, idiosyncracies and personal behaviour is an essential part of co-existing.
Tolerance in life is about respect, respecting others as we would like to be respected ourselves. We must appreciate that other people may behave differently, not in a way that we like or are used to, they may have irritating habits, but we are not perfect either and being able to deal with those situations in a balanced, polite way is an important part of being a responsible adult.
Other less personal matters also require tolerance. Other peoples religion, colour, sexuality, lifestyle, deserve to be treated with respect. Some people choose to exercise, whilst others do not want to. Some people are driven to succeed in their career, others are more easy going about these matters. No one should have to justify or explain themselves to another, unless they want to. The way they choose to live their life should be their business and they will have their own reasons for making their choices.
By learning to be non-judgemental and less critical we become more open and receptive to new perspectives, ideas and understanding. It is a positive way to widen our opinions and outlook on life and learn more about other peoples ways of living. We may even end up introducing new experiences into our lives as a result of being more receptive and enthusiastic.
How interesting is it to be able to sit in a group of different people and be able to discuss their views on the cultural or lifestyle differences between us, ask them how they celebrate a particular religious festival, what they eat at their sabbath, how they feel about particular medical procedures or their attitude to the role of women. By being receptive to the answers to these questions you can learn a lot about other peoples attitudes and rationale and also maybe start to consider why you hold your own views on certain matters. These conversations may be an introduction to ways of thinking that had not even been considered before.
Being more tolerant introduces the potential to change ones mind about certain views or at least consider the bigger picture. It teaches us about personal discipline, the discipline to keep quiet mentally and verbally and wait to discover the other persons views, outlook and opinions. The discipline to respect another persons individuality and right to have their lifestyle and way of doing things. It teaches us about restraint, rather than just reacting and feeling that we have an automatic right to dismiss or denigrate anyone who does not conform to our views or ways of doing things.
Tolerance should be two-way. Both sides should respect each other. A supportive outlook means that even when we disagree with someones opinion we still respect their right to hold that opinion when it is legal and doing no one any harm. That is a core part of a tolerant outlook to others. Mutual respect.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist
www.lifestyletherapy.net