Don't you find that nothing ever stays the same? A lovely calm day can be changed in an instant by a nasty comment, a stressful phone call, a difficult car journey. Whenever something goes wrong it can be guaranteed to pretty much stop us short, those ripples of negativity flowing through and impacting on our mood, our performance and our relationships.
But negative thought patterns can also be transformed by things external to us. Children's laughter, a piece of music, squirrels chasing along the fence, a rainbow are all things that help us stop feeling low and can turn our mood around.
So too can hearing unfortunate or bad news. It can jolt us out of wasting time and energy on something that suddenly appears really trivial. If we hear of a disaster, someone getting a serious health warning or other people far worse than ourselves it can succeed in giving us a reality check. How can we feel sorry for ourselves when so much worse is happening elsewhere?
Perspective is the key and is more of a choice than we perhaps realise. Ask yourself, is there liquid sunshine in your life.
- When rain is liquid sunshine it brings light, fun and joy into the world. Why would we complain about getting wet when taking a lovely walk in nature, with its colours, beauty and life, or even in a busy city street, with its energy, bustle and vibrancy? On your return home simply draw a bath, put dinner in the oven and soak with a steaming mug of hot chocolate in the tub. Turn your view around and remind yourself how wonderful water is. We can survive longer without food than we can without water, so appreciate its role in our lives; it gives us food, hydration, drainage, hygiene. Enjoy your liquid sunshine!
- Traffic jams and hold ups cause so many headaches that traffic bulletins are a regular feature of drivetime media programming. Of course, travel and urgent meetings are a necessary part of modern life. But if you're stuck and unable to move for the duration do you really need to spend that time crying, screaming or stressing? There's nothing you can do so turn those moments into liquid sunshine and use the enforced break as an opportunity to switch off for a while. Listen to a podcast, sing along to some music or even quietly relax. When you're stuck for a time you may as well turn the negative into something more auspicious.
- Redundancy is a fact of life for many people and is often a scary, stressful time. Many people worry that they'll never work again, or will struggle to achieve the same level of seniority or income as before. But many people report that being made redundant forced them to re-evaluate the way they were living their lives, the many compromises they were making with their families and themselves in order to support the big house, holidays and lifestyle. I've heard countless people say that being made redundant turned out to be the best thing that happened to them, even though they had to walk away from so much and start afresh.
- Even when we lose out on buying our dream house or being offered the great job we applied for we often find that something better comes along in its wake. Granted, our search may have become more urgent, our focus clearer as we put more effort in, but we appreciate what subsequently comes our way, even though it may turn out to be very different from what we initially anticipated. As a consequence of losing out we start to notice the different opportunities for liquid sunshine in our lives.
We often can't change what happens to us but we can influence and be more aware of how we allow ourselves to be affected, how we feel about it. Which do you notice, the rain or the liquid sunshine in your life?
Susan Leigh, Altrincham, Cheshire, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.
She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.
To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net