Over time it can become easy to take each other for granted, forget about doing those little things that matter so much to our partner. Let’s take some time today to remind ourselves about the best ways to show each other you care. It doesn’t take much to invest in the quality of your relationship and improve it immeasurably.

Here are some of the best ways to show each other you care:

- Remember the small things that matter to your partner. They may like to get up at a leisurely pace at weekends; take them a drink of tea in bed. Run them a bath after a busy day, start preparing the evening meal if you’re home first. If they like things done in a certain way learn to respect that as a part of the person they are, a part of who you fell in love with.

- Demonstrate that you’re thinking about them when you’re not together. Just sending a simple text or picking up something you know will appeal to them, like details of a concert or a book they’ve mentioned can mean so much and really show that you care and are thinking of them.

- Making time for each other is one of the best ways to show each other you care. Even the busiest of people need to eat. Sitting down together for your evening meal can provide important time to relax and chat with each other about your individual days, your lives, even your plans for future activities. Time spent communicating is an important part of commitment to a relationship, so decide to record your favourite television programme for future viewing and regard the time you spend together as an investment in your relationship and a way of showing that you care.

- Make an effort for each other. Sometimes it’s important to show each other you care by doing things that may not be especially appealing. Standing in the rain watching a football match, going round the shops at a weekend, visiting each other’s friends or families may not be your favourite way to spend your free time, but may be important as a way to show each other you care and are prepared to make an effort. Similarly, listening to your partner talk about the same problem repeatedly may require patience, but if it’s troubling them they may need to be heard. Supporting your partner through their problems demonstrates that you care.

- Look nice. Taking a pride in your appearance matters. Some people feel that once they are in a committed relationship they don’t need to take as much care about how they look, their weight, the way they dress, their personal hygiene or their good manners. Mutual respect is about appreciating each other and the fact that you both still choose to remain together. One of the best ways to show each other you care is by taking the time and effort to look nice so that you remain attractive, appealing and desirable; pleasant company to be with.

- Remain interesting. Keep up to date, with current affairs, modern culture, interesting developments, each others lives so that you can have interesting, relevant conversations not just about whose turn it is to take the rubbish out or which items need adding to the weekly shopping list.

- Have the tough conversations. Showing each other you care means being prepared to insist that your partner visits the doctor or listens to your point of view when you feel that they are in the wrong. Sometimes having difficult conversations or working through unpleasant times together is part of an enduring, caring relationship.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and free articles are available.

For more information telephone, email or visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Stress is a fact of life and is a valuable response in times of adversity, danger or when we need to perform at a heightened level of awareness, but if we live in a continual state of stress it can start to impact on our general health and wellbeing. Let’s look at 3 healthy ways to help cope with stress. Being aware of these can help us to manage our stress levels more effectively and introduce some appropriate stress management techniques.

Here are 3 healthy ways to help cope with stress:

- Learn to recognise your personal warning signs when your stress levels are becoming dangerously high or that stress is becoming a regular feature in your life. Prompt recognition of your personal stress indicators can enable you to introduce some healthy ways to help cope with stress. Notice if your sleeping patterns have become erratic or that you wake up exhausted, notice if your appetite has changed, that you have become more irritable, less interested in the things that normally appeal to you. These are all signs that help you recognise the need to intervene, manage your stress levels and introduce some stress management techniques.

- Delegate to other people. It can be tempting to do everything yourself. It may be quicker in the short-term to hold onto tasks and do them your way, or be tempting to do everything yourself as a way of proving that you are indispensable, it may ensure that no one else knows how to do particular tasks and so you retain control; but doing everything yourself is a bad policy in the longterm. Other people become disillusioned, disempowered, disinclined to offer help and they may stop making the effort to become involved. Teaching people new skills is an important way of sharing the load, helping other people to grow and develop. It also helps them feel important and involved. An added benefit is that you tap into their knowledge, ideas and potential for new innovative thought. And delegating is important as a healthy way to help cope with stress. You end up with more time to do important tasks or even have some free time to go and play.

- Take breaks. Research has proven that by taking breaks people are more productive when they return to work. Denying yourself breaks for food, drink and rest in order to keep on working may look dedicated and effective but the reality is that you become tired, over saturated with information and in need of sustenance. Stress management involves having a change of air and time to allow your mind to become quiet for a little while. Fun, exercise, alternative company provides alternative stimulus and switches off the intensive stressful focus for a while. After a break many people find that new ideas and solutions to problems become more readily accessible.

Hypnotherapy and counselling offer valuable ways to support you in becoming kinder to yourself, healthier, to function more effectively, deal with pressure and introduce healthy ways to help cope with stress. Using hypnotherapy and counselling you become better able to deal with negative patterns of thinking, behaviour and as such become more confident, assertive and able to appreciate the longterm benefits of taking good care of yourself.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to provide workshops, training courses or individual sessions to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and free articles are available.

For more information telephone, email or visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Some stress is an important part of everyday life. As a consequence of being stressed we react to situations better, perform with a heightened level of awareness, access a more focussed way of thinking. But to live in a permanently stressed state is counter-productive; it is draining and bad for our longterm health.

Let’s look at some ways to manage stress with effective stress management techniques:

- Learning to prioritize is an important stress management technique. We can become habituated to instantly reacting whenever there is a request for work or help, but learning to prioritize is an important way to manage stress. Doing the most urgent tasks first helps to manage stress and pressure as it minimises the need to have people banging on the door, urgently demanding a piece of work.

- Seeing things through from start to finish is important, as it can be tempting to start one piece of work, then another and have several projects on the go at once. This can apply equally at home or at work; starting to clean a room, then doing a little ironing, then the garden can result in nothing being finished and leave a dissatisfied feeling at the end of the day. If a work task has to be left part way through make sure that you make clear notes so that it can be resumed efficiently once you return.

- Delegate. Let others help and they will take pride in the responsibility, become more proficient and experienced and may even be in a position to offer useful ideas and suggestions. It can take a little time and patience to teach someone new skills, but in the longterm it usually pays off.

- Say ‘no’ sometimes. This is a useful way to manage stress for several reasons. It makes other people appreciate that you’re busy, gives you a reminder that you have some control over the way you allocate your time and allows you to focus on doing what you’re already doing with a clear, calm mind.

- Take regular breaks. Stopping for food, drink, exercise, fun improves your quality of concentration and is an important stress management technique. Eating healthy food away from the work station, having a brisk ten minute walk, a little ‘me’ time all ensure that your quality of concentration and focus improve on your return. Intensive periods of study, urgent deadlines often benefit from taking a break to allow the thoughts to clean and settle for a while. No one can work flat-out 100% of the time and often people find that new ideas and insights have surfaced during their time away from their desk.

- Practice self-hypnosis. It need only take a second or two to visit a calm place in nature, like a garden, beach, waterfall, and enjoy the sense of peace it brings, or to practice telling yourself some positive affirmations and statements. These are effective ways to manage stress, boost your inner peace and improve your self-esteem. Self hypnosis can act as a quick mini-break at times of pressure, when you’re maybe needing to clear cluttered thinking and access a sense of calm, peace and clear thinking.

- Self-hypnosis can also provide a fast and effective way to draw a line between work and home. Some people find it hard to switch off at the end of the day. They find themselves constantly checking their phone or emails, unable to stop worrying or stressing about the latest project or task. Practice breathing techniques and self-hypnosis as an effective way of letting go of invasive thoughts and setting better habits in place.

Remind yourself to value the other areas of your life, your family, friends, hobbies and interests as well as work. By introducing stress management techniques it becomes easier to find a balance between all those different areas. You establish a better quality of life and establish a healthy work/life balance that brings satisfaction, pleasure as well as challenge and only occasional stress.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and free articles are available.

For more information telephone, email or visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

When someone else has to look after our children it can bring many issues to the surface. Firstly there is the challenge of finding someone who we feel is capable of doing the job to our standards. Then there are the mixed emotions of handing over our precious charges to some else’s care. Often there are house rules that we want respecting. A plethora of issues can arise when we someone else has to look after our children.

It is not uncommon to require help with looking after the children. It may be through being a single parent who needs to earn a wage or being in a family where both parents are committed to their jobs. Childcare may be needed to enable both parents to pursue their careers. Some people may be able to rely on family or friends, others may need to hire someone to do the job.

The problem with someone else looking after our children is that whilst they are well-intentioned, they often have different standards or attitudes to childcare than we do. For example, we may find someone who is lovely but sees no harm in sugary treats. Consequently our child/children may end up being hyper-active and difficult to settle in the evenings. If we have to rely on someone to help and can’t afford to upset them we may need to deal sensitively with any issues.

Let’s look at potential problems when someone else has to look after our children:

- It’s important to remember that good childcare is difficult to find. When we find someone our children are happy and content with, who is convenient, trustworthy and affordable we don’t want to risk alienating them. But we also have to be aware of the children’s best interests too.

- Guilt can be a factor when we have to rely on someone else to look after our children. We may feel guilt at being a bad parent, pursing our own selfish needs, neglecting our children, missing out on their development. But a parent who is fulfilled and positive is more likely to do a good job and appreciate their children than someone who feels resentful and trapped at home. Also many families need the income to survive and support their lifestyle.

- Could jealousy be a factor? Sometimes it can be hard to admit that we feel hurt, aggrieved and jealous at missing out on our children growing up, at witnessing significant moments in their all too short childhoods. We may be jealous of the relationship our children have with their carer. However, if they are happy, content and settled we should be happy too. We can go about our daily business, safe in the knowledge that our children are safe and secure, being looked after by someone they like.

- How receptive would your childcare be to your explaining your concerns? If their diet is a concern you could tackle the subject by saying that you’ve seen a documentary or read an interesting article on the subject, for example, on the effect of sugar on children’s behaviour. This way you’re introducing your concerns in a subtle, information sharing way.

- Your childcare may have different views on raising children to you. She may think that being easy-going, with little discipline, dispensing sugary treats is demonstrating love and providing them with a happy childhood. She may feel that they deserve a treat, that she doesn’t give them much, that it never did her children any harm. You may need to be firm and explain your rules, that they need a nap in the afternoon, that you want them to spend time being creative or reading, that you ration your children to one treat a day. Be firm and stress that you need her to respect your decision. Explain that you have genuine concerns about their behaviour and that you are telling grandparents, friends, school about your views on this matter.

- Pack your children certain things that you want them to use each day; crayons, reading books, a lunch box and tell her that this is their preferred activity whilst they are with her. You could say that your intention is to minimise her work load, to avoid being a burden to her, to save her the expense of catering for your children.

Unfortunately if these strategies don’t result in her adhering to your wishes you may need to reconsider your childcare arrangements. Many people find that relying on family or friends for childcare can put a strain on their relationship as almost everyone has strong opinions on how children should be raised. Maintaining a relaxed attitude as long as the children are happy and settled is often the key to success.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, withcouples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and articles are available.

For more information telephone, email or visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Teacher Appreciation Week offers an invaluable opportunity to reflect on the important role of a teacher in our children’s lives. Teaching is not just about imparting knowledge, though doing that well is in itself a priceless skill. A good teacher provides a safe environment for children to learn, ask questions, think for themselves, develop and ultimately grow.

Teachers appear in many areas of life. Trainers, coaches, tutors, mentors, religious advisers are all teachers of one kind or another. Some teach life skills, others help their students improve their business acumen, music skills, fitness levels.

Let’s look at reasons to appreciate the important role of a teacher this week.

- Education is the fundamental purpose of any teacher, whether it be for reasons academic, professional or personal interest. Discovering each pupil’s learning style and sharing knowledge in a way that they can understand is in itself an accomplishment and skill worthy of appreciation.

- Children look to their teachers for other life lessons too. They may become confidantes, advisers. Young children especially value their relationship with a supportive teacher if they are being bullied, have problems at home or are feeling distressed. Their teacher may be the first person to become aware of their unhappiness, notice behavioural changes or read about what is happening in their homework diary entries.

- Watching the way their teacher treats other students, how they handle misbehaviour and unrest is often an important lesson for a child. When their teacher is fair, demonstrates patience, remains calm and in control a child can learn a lot about handling conflict, about what is appropriate and effective adult behaviour, especially if it is very different from their home experience.

- When older people are asked about the teachers they remember with affection, their significant teachers, they often talk about the strict but fair teachers, the ones who made them work, perhaps who were tough on them but fair. Often the teachers who wanted to be popular and friends with all their pupils are long forgotten. Children appreciate discipline and rules when they understand that they are fair and reasonable.

- Teachers can become important role models and are often the most significant adults outside family members in a child’s life. Aspiring to be like their teacher, modelling themselves on the traits they admire can influence a child’s future progression. Many adults say that their love of literature, skill in mathematics, desire to write a book, become a doctor or an engineer, all happened because of the enthusiasm of one inspirational teacher.

- Mentors can hold a very important teaching role. Some schools have introduced mentor schemes to support the young people who are in need of additional guidance. Key local figures like successful sports figures, business people, local heroes are invited to sponsor one or two students at a time and they provide mentoring sessions, advice and an ongoing interest in their students’ success and well-being.

- Coaching offers valuable support to businesses. In new businesses it can provide a structured opportunity to set aside time to formulate goals, direction and focus. More established businesses often benefit from coaching by using it to review existing strategies and assess what is working well, decide what needs revising and determine appropriate objectives and time frames for future business development.

Teachers support the fabric and structure of our society. Taking time to value and appreciate the important role of a teacher, their skill, dedication and commitment to education matters. Assisting them in their role, supporting them by teaching our children to be respectful and polite, helping our children with their homework, encouraging them to read, nurturing their interest in learning benefits us all longterm.

Education of a formal and informal nature is readily available in all areas of life. Having a receptive attitude of mind keeps us alert, mentally healthy and motivated. Allowing ourselves to be interested and receptive to learning enhances our life experience and keeps us mentally agile with a better quality of life, whatever our age. All this is to be celebrated in Teacher Appreciation Week.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and articles are available.

For more information telephone, email or visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Some overweight people think that by having gastric band hypnotherapy they will sort out all their issues with food, weight loss and overeating. This in many ways echoes the preconceived ideas that are sometimes held about hypnotherapy; let someone else take control, tell me what to do and then my mind will be programmed differently and I will do what I have been instructed.

Gastric band hypnotherapy removes many concerns at having the real operation, with all the implications of a major surgical procedure, but clients still need to deal with their underlying issues concerning their relationship with food and overeating. People have been known to put on weight after having had gastric band surgery because they have their liquidized their food, chocolate bars, ice cream so desperate are they to have their food/sugar fix. The hypnotherapy procedure is no different in that respect. Clients have to be prepared to work with the therapy and address their issues in order to support and sustain weight loss.

Hypnotherapy and counselling are effective ways of treating the underlying reasons for overeating or eating the wrong foods. Address those reasons and people often find that they start to treat themselves better, and as a consequence start to lose weight. They resolve the reasons behind their bad habits, low self-esteem, inability to put themselves first and find that as their confidence improves so does their commitment to eating healthy foods at the right time. They learn that their stomach is the size of their fist and appreciate the importance of serving appropriate portion sizes. They may start to exercise regularly in a way that improves their fitness levels.

Before gastric band hypnotherapy is considered there are often several areas that need to be dealt with:

- Comfort eating is an issue for many people. Sitting eating in the evenings whilst watching TV, using chocolate, cakes, crisps to sooth life’s stresses may provide temporary respite but the reality is that many unnecessary extra calories are often consumed. This then provides additional stress as the realisation of what has been eaten dawns.

- Make the time to enjoy proper mealtimes. Sit and eat in a more disciplined way, at the dining table. Eat slowly and focus on enjoying each mouthful. Use a smaller plate and make food a pleasurable experience with presentation, colour, texture, smell all an important part of the experience. Remove any distractions, like work, TV, reading material. Enjoy each mouthful of food.

- Bad eating habits can be changed by planning in advance, organising oneself so that food shopping involves buying good, healthy, easy to prepare foods that allow a positive relationship with food to occur. If food has to be prepared late at night or after a tiring day at work it can be all too tempting to snack, order a take way or eat pre chilled meals or quick, high fat alternatives. By having a weekly menu planned, perhaps with evening meals prepared in advance and ready to take out of the freezer and with lunch time ingredients easily available meal times can become a healthier, less stressful option.

- Low self-esteem can mean that people regard food as their one reliable friend. Hypnotherapy can treat the experiences that have contributed to low self-esteem. Some people may have had critical, unforgiving parents, school teachers, siblings. They may have been bullied at school and found that food provided a temporary respite from their miserable existence. Hypnotherapy can relegate those earlier experiences to the past, where they belong and allow improved confidence, self belief and self-esteem to be introduced.

Gastric band or no gastric band, there is rarely a quick fix to issues with food and losing weight. Relying on something else, a third-party to solve problems in effect means abdicating responsibility for personal choices and decisions. Even if it works in the short-term over time the underlying reasons and compulsions often re-emerge. It is important to deal with any underlying problems, not just the symptoms, learn better eating habits and improve the relationship with food. Then the matter can be resolved.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Many young people automatically assume that their lives will go to plan and follow the direction that they have set out for themselves. They feel confident that will find that special someone, maybe marry, build a home and have the children that they have already mentally named.

Unfortunately children don’t come to order and an increasing number of couples are turning to IVF in a bid to help them realise their dream of children and a happy family. Many of those people are desperate and having some helpful advice on coping with IVF would support them through the process.

Let’s look at some helpful advice on coping with IVF:

- Guilt is often an important part of the initial discovery process. When a couple first try to get pregnant they may anticipate taking a month or two for it to happen. But it can take time for their bodies to readjust from having spent most of their sex lives trying not to get pregnant.

When it becomes apparent that pregnancy is not happening automatically each person tends to speculate about whether or not they are to blame. Trawling through their past, wondering about the implications of their childhood mumps, an abortion, a misspent youth drinking to excess or taking drugs can all add to the stress and make the situation more heartrending.

Hypnotherapy can help put the stress and guilt of past situations into context. The past is finished with. It forms a part of who you are today and that is the person your partner fell in love with. You can’t change the past but you need to reconcile it, perhaps with hypnotherapy, and then move on.

- Pain can be a significant part of the process. Tests, injections, medication, examinations and procedures often involve discomfort and sometimes pain. Feeling unwell, having erratic mood swings, being strict about timed treatments can be wearing mentally, emotionally and physically. Some helpful advice on coping with IVF can include pain management techniques.

Self hypnosis is one such technique. It allows a day dreamy state to be entered into, perhaps where you relax and visit a comfortable place in nature, free from stress or tension. This place allows any cares to drift away, still being aware and able to hear instructions, but, for the rest of the time, enjoying being a little detached from it all.

Another pain management technique is to first practice turning the pain up a little, make it worse and discover that you have control. You realise that if you can turn it up you can also turn it down to manage pain. A third technique is to spread the pain through your body. A strong pain in your hand or leg can be significantly lessened by imagining it spreading through a larger area, like your whole body.

- Patience and remaining optimistic is an important part of the IVF process. Once the eggs are implanted waiting to hear the outcome can seem like a lifetime. Each part of the IVF cycle has its own timetable; being patient and keeping a positive mindset can be especially wearing. Try to recall those other experiences of going through a process and having to wait, hoping for a good result. Many people marry, are nervous when they awaken on their wedding day, hope that the day will go well, are optimistic that they have made the right longterm decision. Many of us take long courses, study for exams, prepare for interviews and hold our breath, trusting that we will get a positive result after all our efforts. Remembering that we did our best, that we had a go can provide some comfort.

- Responsibility is another important area. After the tests and treatments one person may be deemed responsible if the IVF cycle doesn’t work. How will each person cope with the knowledge that one of them is to ‘blame’ for their childless state. Again hypnotherapy and relationship counselling can play an important part in supporting a couple through this difficult time of acceptance and readjustment, support them through communicating and coming to terms with their situation.

One person may feel resentful or desperate at not being able to have children, the other may feel responsible and frustrated, unable to do anything about it. At some point it becomes opportune to discuss other options that may be available. Are there other acceptable ways to bring a child into your lives, how does the relationship move forward from this, would you rather be with your partner and childless or is having your own child too strong a desire? And remember, if you decide to end the relationship there is no guarantee that a child would automatically be conceived in the future.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and free articles are available.

For more information visit www.lifestyletherapy.net