Keep A Little Something for Yourself

When asked ‘who’s the most important person in your life?’, many people are readily able to reel off a list. It often features children, partners, parents, siblings, close friends, and even work colleagues. There’s often a surprised reaction if they’re then asked, ‘What about you? Where do you appear on the list?’  

But if we’re constantly thinking of others, with no time to enjoy the things we like and love, the chances are we’ll become stressed, overtired and ultimately resentful. Yes, there are occasions when we’re all required to deal with unexpected emergencies or several things converge at the same time, but they should be the exception rather than the rule.  

When we feel good, relaxed and able to keep a little something for ourselves, everyone around us benefits. 

What could you keep for yourself? 

Time. There’s a saying that if you want something doing, you should ask a busy person, as they’ll often deal with requests immediately, keen to tick them off their mental ‘to do’ list. When we’re not especially busy, we may delay things for days due to having plenty of time. A busy person hasn’t got that luxury and is often highly motivated to get things done. 

Being vigilant about how you allocate your time can result in you being able to take a regular break. Certainly, if you booked an important appointment, you’d be sure to keep it and not reschedule if something minor arose. Put yourself in your diary and treat that appointment as equally important. 

Make sure to use that free time for yourself, to do the things that serve you well. A walk in nature, an afternoon at the beach, a relaxing bath, time curled up with a good book, catching up with your favourite TV shows, or having fun with your friends. Enjoy some guilt-free time when you relax and recharge your batteries.  

Money. One suggestion used to motivate people who wanted to stop smoking was to save the money they’d usually spend on cigarettes and treat themselves, maybe to a meal out, a spa day or even a weekend away if they’d saved enough money.  

With less people smoking that’s not such a relevant suggestion but regularly putting a little money aside can be a good way to introduce a positive habit, ultimately resulting in a little something for yourself. Use that spare money to buy a coffee, have lunch in a cafe, treat yourself to a massage, facial or go and watch the game. 

Space is a precious luxury for many of us. Some personal space can provide valuable downtime, free from noise, other people, and regular demands. Keep the space free from clutter and enjoy the privacy of your own room, your garden shed, a quiet time of the day when you take a walk, and there’s no one else around or even simply relish the luxury of an early night with a good book. 

For some people it’s their early morning brew, enjoying half an hour before the world awakens, or having a quiet lunch in the park. Those brief interludes provide welcome respite in an overcrowded life. 

Energy levels are important to our health and wellbeing. Working non-stop, perhaps having many demands throughout the day, can leave little mental or physical capacity for anything else. 

Granted, a new job or business may require maximum input at times, but if family, friends and home also demand unremitting attention, there may be little energy left over. The reserves become drained. Being in demand can be tolerable for a while but is unsustainable as an ongoing way of life. 

Asking for help can bring positive results. People are often flattered at being approached for their help and expertise. Even children can assist, no matter if their input isn’t 100% perfect. Or alternatively, paying for support can be money well spent, by hiring cleaning, gardening, decorating, accountancy, or social media help. All ways to direct your energy into the more important demands that come your way.     

A comfort zone can be either good or bad. It provides an opportunity to drift into autopilot and perform routine, familiar tasks that require minimal engagement. This is helpful in times of stress or emotional overwhelm, allowing us to function unthinkingly. But if we spend too long in our comfort zone, we lessen our focus on the tasks in hand, thus reducing it in size. 

Whilst our role in life may not require us to deliver specific outcomes and prove our abilities and competency, it’s still important that we’re motivated enough to challenge ourselves with new things from time to time. It’s good to occasionally have to problem-solve, find solutions to something different or unexpected. Engaging mentally results in brain activity, having to think, search for answers, so refreshing our enthusiasm, our sense of purpose, and benefitting our confidence and self-esteem. 

Sometimes joining others in a shared endeavour can help us find a little something for ourselves whilst achieving valuable goals, such as Couch to 5k, Dry January or a sponsored fundraiser. This is a positive way to introduce a disciplined sense of purpose to our activities. Also, these initiatives help in establishing regular, almost non-negotiable routines that pave the way to appreciate the importance of keeping a little something for ourselves.          

Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist         www.lifestyletherapy.net