Could This Be Addiction?

The word ‘addict’ typically conjures up the image of a disheveled, pasty-faced individual, shuffling along the street late at night. But there are many, socially acceptable ways to experience addiction, from ‘I can’t function without my early morning coffee’ right through to continually needing to check their mobile or being overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety at having missed a run or gym session. 

Consider your relationship with sugar. Those tasty treats that used to happen occasionally, maybe on a Friday night to celebrate the start of the weekend, but which now have become an established part of your daily routine. What does doing without feel like? Sugar is extremely addictive, not least because of the noticeable low once the sugar rush has worn off. It can become a habit as the justification to indulge becomes easier, gradually using more frequently; a treat after a busy day, a reward after a job well done, taking the edge off a stressful situation.  

Cigarette smoking brought an awareness of addiction most noticeably into our daily lives, but many of us are equally familiar with the gregarious party-person who repeatedly buys rounds of drinks for everyone, as well as themselves whilst enthusiastically  saying, ‘go on, have another’ in order to continue the alcohol-fueled party vibe. Doing so can be fun on occasion, but some people live like that whilst denying that they’re drink-dependent or addicted to alcohol. 

Young people often encounter drugs at school, and there are valid concerns about the level of drug-dealing in schools, colleges, universities and young people’s haunts, like clubs and arcades. For many young people smoking a joint or experimenting with stronger drugs may start as a way of taking the edge off studying, joining in with their peers, or relaxing quickly to enjoy the ‘party’ vibe. Drugs are often seen as a quick fix and initially less expensive than alcohol, with the assertion that they, ‘can be stopped at any time’.  

What’s the first step in acknowledging that there may be a problem with addiction? 

Recognise if your increasing reliance is becoming problematic. Have you noticed a change in your behaviour, perhaps your moods becoming more volatile, less tolerant? Are you concerned at the amount of money you’re spending to fund this? Has it become such a priority that you find you have less control over your usage, are letting go of hobbies, interests and friends that were previously important to you, or have you changed plans and cancelled arrangements to accommodate it? Are your family and friends concerned that your mood, your behaviour has changed, and not for the better? Are they treating you rather differently of late?         

Think of addiction as being a demanding lover who’s determined to not let go, who keeps pushing for more and more attention. Some addictions can feel increasingly tenacious, especially if there’s the slightest hint of you moving away and letting go. There’s no time, money or interest available for other hobbies or activities, as control over usage and life increasingly revolves around getting the next ‘fix’.      

Are levels of usage creeping up and becoming a cause for concern? 

Life revolves around the habit, from being preoccupied with planning the next exercise class, coffee or where to source the next fix. Previous interests could well be relegated much lower down the list. 

Relationships may be subject to unexpected mood swings, disinterest, bad-temperedness and the sudden appearance of new friends on the scene. 

From being focused and conscientious, there may be less attention to detail, poor concentration, and growing neglect of responsibilities. 

Secretive behaviour may occur, with phone calls and surreptitious meetings happening, followed by requests to borrow money or out of character risk-taking. 

Previous good health, hygiene and fitness levels may suffer, and good grooming becomes less important.     

Next Steps:  

Each person has to take responsibility for their own situation and subsequent journey to recovery. Whilst friends and family may be desperate to help and try threatening, begging and cajoling, it’s a ‘you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink’ scenario. An event may occur which kickstarts the healing journey; a health warning, relationship crisis or sudden glimpse of their appearance in the mirror. 

Who are you mixing with? If you’re feeling alone, lonely and unattractive, it can be compelling to receive someone’s attention and follow their lead, joining them and being included in their activities. Or your life may have moved on and you’re now socialising with a newer crowd who perhaps are not the best fit for you. Your close circle are the ones who provide ongoing, day-to-day support and encouragement, so it’s important that they’re a positive influence. 

Ask for help. Sometimes we need people in our lives who understand our experience and have dealt with those challenges which may thwart our success. Is there a manager, mentor, spiritual guide, therapist, family member, or friend who could be there for you? Or online support groups and chat rooms may provide helpful, 24-hour insights and suggestions. 

Be gentle with yourself. If you slip up accept what can’t be undone. Are you aware of the triggers and what needs to happen to ensure you’re better prepared for the future? Don’t wait for a new day, week, or year. Commit to starting again immediately and pick up the momentum. Set routines that can be comfortable enough to follow and become a regular part of your life. 

Persevere and after a few weeks your new addiction-free habit will become an automatic part of your life.        

Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist      www.lifestyletherapy.net